Clover, it's like she knows

Clover is my furry baby, my sweet pup. She gets me, like no one can. We got Clover in January 2006. She was so good for me. I was just starting to peek my head out of the hole I had put myself in when we brought her home. One of my biggest struggles in the beginning of this infertility thing was getting out of bed in the morning. I fought so hard to get up every morning, but my body was fighting against me. And then when I would give in and sleep longer, I would feel so guilty. I would beat myself up all day long for sleeping so late. Here's a hint: It's not good to beat yourself up over anything. It only makes things worse. If I could have only allowed myself to sleep in every now and then without feeling so guilty maybe I would have been able to get up the next day. I perpetuated that problem for sure.
One of the other things about me was that I was a clean freak, not a neat freak, a clean freak. There is a huge difference. As many of you know, puppies can not hold it for very long, and since I was so not okay with Clover relieving herself in my house, i would get up and let her out. When she had done her business I would want to go back to bed, but her cute little puppy self would make me smile. One sweet look from her and I was up and at 'em. She needed me. I think I needed to be needed.
I was not alone anymore. She became my jogging buddy...my riding in the car buddy...my cleaning the house buddy...my reading buddy. She was always doing whatever I was doing. And when I got home at night and Michael was in class until late, Clover was there to greet me. That's the great thing about dogs. They are so excited to see you, everyday, it never fails.
And sometimes I talk to Clover, sounds so crazy, I know. It's kind of like talking to yourself, but it's way better because you actually get a response from something. Clover totally turns her head and trys to make out what I am saying. She's probably listening for Sit, Stay, Come, Down, Kennel, or No because that's pretty much the extent of her vocabulary, but it's just the fact that she really wants to listen to me...so cute! She perks her ears up. She gets excited if I sound excited. She lays her head on my lap when I am quiet. She knows her momma.
I know it sounds like the most ridiculous thing in the world to most of you, but this dog helped me get over the hump and get back to life! And now we are best friends! ha/ha
P.S. Michael and I finished our last training day on Saturday. We are finishing up our paperwork this week. Because of Spring Break I get some extra time off, but I started not feeling so great Sunday afternoon. I think I have some kind of virus, my stomach is not okay right now. Hopefully I will feel better soon. I have work to do!

2 comments:

Sherri said...

Amanda...I just want you to know that I am praying for you and Michael and your precious children everyday. I pray for you and Michael to be able to trust in God's timing and in His goodness! I am praying that God Almighty has His hand of protection on your children TODAY and that He is whispering in their ear how very much He loves them and that He has their future in His hands! I cannot wait to meet them!

The Gustafsons said...

I completely relate to the not getting out of bed thing. It is still hard some days, but thankfully those days are rare! Congrats on being amost done-so exciting, isn't it? We had our last training on saturday too-I love walking this road with you (even though you're 800 miles away!) Praying for your babies, wherever they are right now.