Tomorrow will be one week since the boys came to stay! We are all adjusting very well. The last 3 days have felt quite normal actually...a new kind of normal that is! Conner wakes up once a night around 1 or 2am. He gets a bottle and a burp and he goes back down until around 6am. Jesse goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:00pm and sleeps like a rock until 7:30-8:00am...what a blessing! Tonight was the first night he started to be a bit of a stinker about going to bed. He just wanted to play and be crazy instead of laying still. He was just rolling all around the bed and giggling. It was so cute! He gave out just before 8:00pm, though. I had to call in the reinforcements (Michael) to get him to lay still. He was just cracking me up! Michael has been so good with him. Between the hours of 8am and 8pm it's a whole lot of eating, washing, holding, laughing, feeding, playing, crying, dancing, teaching, and most of all loving! And we wouldn't have it any other way!
It is so weird to get to know your son when he is already 20 months old. Jesse is such a ham...he loves to show-off and he will do anything for a laugh. And he for sure knows how cute he is, which is good and bad. When he gets into trouble by not listening to mommy and daddy he has to sit in the naughty spot. If he catches you looking at him while he is in the naughty spot, then he gives the biggest cheesy grin ever and then he laughs...such a stinker. Jesse is becoming more and more affectionate everyday. He follows Michael all over the house and if Michael goes outside, then Jesse stands in the front window and watches him. Starting Sunday night, he gave me so many kisses and hugs when I layed him down and that has continued every night since...precious. And just today, for the first time, he wanted to hold my hand while we walked. He is such a boy! Jumping, throwing, crashing, splashing, running: these are his favorite things. We play a children's worship CD during breakfast and it really gets him going. The first day he just kind of watched me dance around to the music and grinned. Now he asks for the music by pointing at the CD player and thanks to Aunt Heather he has now started dancing...his first move was the 360 degree spin! Heather quickly taught him some nice shoulder movements. Michael and I are working on teaching him the classic booty shake and my personal favorite-the head bob. He is a handful, but worth all of the work and worth the wait!
Conner is just a smiley little baby boy. When he is not sleeping, eating, burping, or being bounced he loves to lay on his back or his belly and check everything out. He is always cooing. What a sweet sound that is! When we talk to him he gives the biggest smile and it just melts us. I can't believe how quickly he has gotten to know us. I did not expect for him to attach to me so quickly. God has an amazing way of working all of that out. He has already grown a lot. He is getting some serious chub. I feel like his double chin just came up over night. Conner loves to cuddle with momma and momma loves to cuddle with him. I am thrilled to watch him grow and see his little personality start to develop.
God has an amazing plan for all of us and that includes Jesse and Conner. They are an amazing gift from God and we are humbled to receive such an amazing blessing. We got the boys last Friday night and the night before I had a melt down. I just cried out to God in anguish. It was such an emotionally hard week. Our adoption agency kept calling us every day with different names of children that we may be selected for and they kept falling through one by one. I guess my patience just finally crumbled and I lost my faith in God's amazing plan for my life. After waiting 4 years and never conceiving and then being called to adoption and then the long and hard road to adoption...I felt like I had been patient for long enough I guess. When Michael called me on Friday afternoon and told me about the boys, I didn't even get excited at first. I thought it was going to be just like all of the other ones and it wouldn't work out. If I had only known what God knew. I cried today when I thought about my lack of faith, and then I realized that if that had not happened Thursday night, then I may have been tempted to think that the boys were my reward for being so faithful...ridiculous. Because of Thursday night, I am not tempted to think I deserve any of this. I know for sure that these boys came straight from the Lord. And they are the culmination of years and years of prayers. Over four years ago, we started praying that God would bless us with children. We had no idea at that time the journey that we had begun and what God had in mind, but little by little he started to reveal his plan and now here we stand in awe of it all! It is just incredible how quickly God can change everything when the timing is right. What an amazing celebration of praise! God is so good! Let us never forget His goodness!
To our family and friends:
We could not ask for more love and support. I am overwhelmed by all of the prayers, meals, calls, and gifts. All of you are a large part of why Michael and I felt so blessed even before Jesse and Conner came into our life. First we have Jesus, each other, all of you, and now Jesse and Conner. We are overflowing with love and praise! Thank you for loving us and our new sons!
p.s. Monday I am flying solo for the first time. Michael is off to work.