No news is good news?

No news is for sure not good news for me. Our caseworker was on vacation last week, so we were hoping to hear something today. We are waiting to find out what the time frame is...meeting the kids, visits, getting to bring the kids home with us, etc. I actually consider myself a reasonably patient person. This has been a real test for me...and guess what I am failing miserably.

I have been telling myself all day today and ever since we heard about these 3 kids that God's timing is perfect, but let's face it people...I just flat disagree with God right now. The sad part is that I know He is right and His ways are perfect, so my disagreement is a huge waste of my time and energy.

This reminds me of when I was a kid and I would be in an argument with my mom or dad. Usually at some point in the argument they would start making a whole lot more sense than me (usually) and that's when I would get really mad. I wanted to be right so bad, but I knew I was wrong. Did that stop me from arguing for a while longer? No way! I wanted things my way, even though I knew they had the best for me in mind. I've got a lot of fight in me. We all do, don't we?

It's just like that with God, isn't it? I really do know that He is good and perfect, but I want it my way! I want to meet my kids now! I can be such a brat! The truth is that God has orchestrated the perfect time for them to enter our world. He loves those kids more than I do, more than I can imagine. He knows what's right for them and for us. I don't understand His ways at all...not a lick, but I do know that He loves me and my children.

God, I pray for the patience I need to endure this moment in my life. I pray that you would not bring those kids to us until it is time. Forgive me for putting up a fight. I want what you want. It just takes me a while to figure it out sometimes. I'm still figuring.

Hopefully we will hear something soon...hope...there is that word again.