Chad (5), Brett (3), and Kaylie (almost 2)! God, are these our kids? We have been selected for these 3 kids. They have told us that they want to place them this week, but we have been given no timeline as of yet. We are hoping to bring them home on Friday night. Please pray for us to be patient in this process. Our caseworker has something like 30 families on her case load and Michael and I could dominate her with our excitement and anticipation alone. We have to remember that there are several other families in our same position right now. We are waiting to hear when we can meet our kids!
We have been so blessed by everyone around us. Our only needs are hand-me-down clothes. They just sent me these sizes.
Kaylie: 24 months through 2T, shoe size 5 to 5 1/2, size 3 diapers
Brett: mainly 3T, some 4T, shoe size 7, size 4 diapers at night
Chad: 4T & 5 clothing, 4T for pants/shorts is better, shoe size 8 1/2 or 9
Please don't spend any more money on us. Everyone has been so generous and we are so thankful! Hand-me-downs are perfect!
lots of love,
Amanda
Harder days
I mistakenly thought that I had prepared myself for all of the awful reminders that were possible. I knew I would get a lot of people congratulating me because they had not heard the bad news yet. I know that there are still some congratulations out there. I feel somewhat prepared for that...it's never easy, but I can handle it. I really believed that my devious mind had already thought through every horrible incident that was possible. I really believed that until yesterday.
I was in my cubicle trying to focus and work when my cell phone rang. I answered it and they asked for Mrs. Kashuba. When I clarified that I was Mrs. Kashuba, they reminded me of an appointment we had made for Jesse. I was shocked and embarrassed to have to answer back, "We don't have them anymore." I quickly got off the phone and after a few deep sighs and prayers went back to work. I think I actually forgot all about it after only 5 minutes or so...that was until about an hour ago. I answered my phone only to be reminded of Conner's 4 month check-up, which is scheduled for tomorrow.
Now why in the world did these 2 calls have to come less than 24 hours apart? I will never understand the timing of everything. The call yesterday is one thing, but the one this morning...YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
It's amazing how much I had already planned ahead in our life together. The first doctor's visit went so badly...Conner screamed the whole time. I had already planned that there was no way I could take both of them by myself. Michael was for sure going to take off of work for this appointment. Conner was supposed to get more shots.
We have a couple of parties that have been scheduled for a while coming up. I had already thought through what it would look like to bring the boys with us...naps, feedings, etc. I just want to hurry and get to the point where I have not already included the boys in my plans. Every time one of these events comes up I am reminded of what I lost and I am sad.
I miss those boys. Not everyday brings such reminders, though. There are hard days and harder days. Today is just a harder day, but who knows maybe tomorrow will be full of sunshine, laughter, pretty flowers, puppies, and cute earrings...some of my favorite things!
Amanda
I was in my cubicle trying to focus and work when my cell phone rang. I answered it and they asked for Mrs. Kashuba. When I clarified that I was Mrs. Kashuba, they reminded me of an appointment we had made for Jesse. I was shocked and embarrassed to have to answer back, "We don't have them anymore." I quickly got off the phone and after a few deep sighs and prayers went back to work. I think I actually forgot all about it after only 5 minutes or so...that was until about an hour ago. I answered my phone only to be reminded of Conner's 4 month check-up, which is scheduled for tomorrow.
Now why in the world did these 2 calls have to come less than 24 hours apart? I will never understand the timing of everything. The call yesterday is one thing, but the one this morning...YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
It's amazing how much I had already planned ahead in our life together. The first doctor's visit went so badly...Conner screamed the whole time. I had already planned that there was no way I could take both of them by myself. Michael was for sure going to take off of work for this appointment. Conner was supposed to get more shots.
We have a couple of parties that have been scheduled for a while coming up. I had already thought through what it would look like to bring the boys with us...naps, feedings, etc. I just want to hurry and get to the point where I have not already included the boys in my plans. Every time one of these events comes up I am reminded of what I lost and I am sad.
I miss those boys. Not everyday brings such reminders, though. There are hard days and harder days. Today is just a harder day, but who knows maybe tomorrow will be full of sunshine, laughter, pretty flowers, puppies, and cute earrings...some of my favorite things!
Amanda
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